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Rewrite your narrative
The version of you that learnt how to be
There’s often a version of you that learnt how to be.
A way of showing up that made things work.
That kept connection steady.
That helped you navigate what you needed to.
A once helpful alter ego that helped you survive, but now keeps you stuck.
This narrative is familiar. Predictable.
It knows how to read the room.
How to adapt.
How to keep things okay.
And for a long time, it likely worked.
It may have even been reinforced. Noticed, relied on, praised by others.
But this narrative was built for survival.
Not for ease.
Not for fulfilment.
Not for a sense of belonging within yourself.
The cost of staying in it
Shielded, you’re granted protection, on the condition that you play your role within it.
There’s only space for the parts of you that are acceptable, helpful, easy to receive.
The fine print failed to mention what it would cost you, your emotional malnourishment.
Over time, it can start to feel like you’ve learnt to move around yourself.
To minimise.
To not take up too much space.
To keep things going without asking for too much in return.
Restricted, you begin to notice how much of yourself gets left out.
Not quite feeling seen.
Not quite feeling considered.
Not because you don’t have needs, but because somewhere along the way, you learnt they might not be met in the way you needed.
What begins to shift
Rewriting your narrative isn’t about becoming someone completely different.
It’s about coming back to yourself, without all the layers you had to build to be accepted, to be safe, to be enough.
A place where you don’t have to constantly monitor where you stand.
Where closeness doesn’t feel like it could disappear if you get something wrong.
Where rest feels like actual rest, and guilt is no longer in charge.
This shift doesn’t happen all at once.
There can be hesitation. A pull back to what feels known. Guilt in prioritising yourself, or doubt about whether your needs will be met.
And at the same time, there is often another part of you that feels tired of holding it all.
Coming back to yourself
Rewriting your narrative is a gradual process of creating something more steady and more sustainable.
Where your worth isn’t based on what you do for others.
Where you can express your needs without second guessing them.
Where connection feels more consistent, not something you have to constantly manage.
If something in this feels familiar, we can begin to work with it, at a pace that feels right for you.